Marsha Kline Pruett PhD MSE Smith college School for Social Work
Quality time is a myth- can't schedule time to spend with child, but some times listing to a problem in the car on the way to school is valuable.
Work & family stress contributes to mental illness
Quality childcare is a high stress problem for parents. Most infants/toddlers/prescholers are not getting quality childcare
Working parents lament: why didn't any one tell me...
it would be this hard...
it's scary to know so little about what you are doing...
you're on your own a lot... at home mom's left beind-get into work force late maybe when kids need mom more
'there's this life and deathness to it'...
it can be incredibly joyful...
fathers and mothers...
Good working parenting at any age
sensitivity to children's needs-teen years hardest
make children feel adored/valued-listen, talk, share
sustain strong values- find own way- let them find out who they are
Discipline- to teach
affirm uniqueness/expect competence
promote education as process
be an abiding presence- what ever comes
safeguard rituals and routines- don't change traditions
Working vs. Parenting: the bottom line
woman are happier when working 20-25 hours/week
Our Towns ten
1969- 60% childrens lives with breadwinner dads and stay at home mons
25% Marriages ended in divorce
40% moms with prescoolers are working
94% of 3 yr olds and 815 4 yr olds are not in preschool
30% of kids with breadwinner dads/stay at home moms
41% marriages end in divorce
300% increase in single moms
62% of moms with preschoolers work outside home
63% kids under 5 in childcare
technology has changed and we can stay connected 24/7- always on
Moms spend as much time with their kids as 40 yers ago
Families eat out more not at home for ease and smplicity
Differnt cultures have different socialization values.43% work stay/home delimma- moderate to severe stress about weather should stay home or work.
parents have changed; older, more vigilent, overworked, multitaskers, with fewer kids.. are they more competent?
Kids whose Dads are more involved are at ease with both boy and girl friends.
men who are involed wit ids are healthier, less likley to die early, less heartattacks and are happier. Dads who bond right away with their babies are less likey to abuse child.
Men need to practice childrens routines and women still need to be gatekeepers and make sure they do it.